Hate/Love

I don't hate love
though people tell me that I should
for the number of times it's left me broken
The truth is, I don't think I can be loved
despite me being endearing, and kind, and caring
I'm always placed upon a shelf.

I thought that turning myself off was the answer
why should I love if no one ever feels it for me?
Why should I indeed
The reality is, I'm glad that I love
because it means I do everything with the best intention
I know I've spent nights crying
over friends that have hurt me, girls that couldn't deserve me

But still, I don't hate love
I dislike the pain that comes with it
but people hurt you, that's what they do
it happens sometimes, they don't always mean it
Okay, sometimes they do.
But without love, how can we have the ability to grow?

I could roll myself into this mould
hidden behind a concave made of steel and dynamite
I could tell people, I'm undesirable, to leave me alone
Just, please, go away
But in actuality, I'm just hoping someone will stay
I don't need anyone to love me
So I'll always survive, it would just be nice
if someone could look at me with a decent smile
and say "Hey, I'm not ashamed, nor will I ever be"

So I guess, even though I feel things that people
laugh at me for. I cry sometimes, and the cruel ones
mock me for it. But despite all this.
I know
That my strength is my weakness.
But my weakness is my strength.

I don't hate love.
I    simply     hate    the    heartache.